I said meditate, not medicate.

Lets talk meditation.

Buddhist meditation (1)

That word makes me roll my eyes and fake gag.  I mean that stuff just isn’t for me.  When I went to hypno-birthing classes for my son the midwives had us write down our most relaxing special places.  It was almost too much for me.

But I persevered.

And now I use it.  Ah! Crazy hippy mediation got me!

Do I sit down in some crazy leg tangle?  Close my eyes and say om?  No.  But I use the most important pieces of that story when things get ruff or off track enough to need to refocus.  Like when I’m at work and one of my students looses it or when my kids are throwing huge fits in time out or when running just doesn’t feel good or when my husband calls and says he busted open his knee biking and needs to get stitches.  Or the more common children playing and then screaming while I am trying to get 5 more minutes of sleep.

My midwife told me to describe a place using all your senses.  How it smells, tastes, sounds, etc.  And it really helps.  It also helps that I get to go to that place and have those feelings and senses refreshed.

Cool water splashing up around my toes and ankles.  Wet send squishing up between my toes.  The feeling of the breeze blowing through my hair and the sun warming my cheeks. The smell of salt water in the air and the taste of salt water on my lips.

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And that view.  For miles and miles.

It sounds silly but that has helped get me through some ruff times.  It may help you to find a special relaxing place for you to go to in your mind.  You never know when you may need it.

If you need to close your eyes and say om I won’t judge you, too much.

Is my strong, strong enough?

Holy shit people!  What a week.

I am just home from a long vacation in which I did a million amazing, relaxing, and joyful things and now that seems like so long ago.  I would sleep in and drink delicious coffee in the morning, that was made for me I might add.  Have drinks with adults and talk about things besides the next object my kids want to blow up.  Ahh, you only know how good you have it when its gone.

20170706_170012I mean there have been amazing moments.  But raising kids and building a house are two of the most exhausting things to me. I’m sure someone is out there doing it much more gracefully then we are but whatever.  I can only be who I am and the best version of myself is not that person.  Its even harder when I just want to run and hang out/catch up with my friends and their kids.

This is my first full week back and I put the kids in camp so I could help Eddie and spend some time with him while we work on the house.  So that has been really nice, but it hasn’t been all smiles because I have a learning curve when I am coming up to help out and I know that he is frustrated, I mean I am frustrated with myself. Plus 100 degree temps and my children begin children.

The finish line is in sight but its on one of the false flats that are just really grueling.  But I know we can make it, because we have come this far.  I just need to get my game face on, keep my head down and grit through it.  I have done some amazing things in my life and this will be another one when it is all said and done.  Anyway I like the quote I found.  I think it brings a lot of life into perspective, things are hard but good stuff is just up ahead.

Stay focused, eye on the prize.  We can all do this. (Make it till happy hour that is).

 

 

Live like its shark week!

On the way home from vacation United was showing Shark week and luckily it was free though silent because I forgot my headphones.  It struck me how majestic sharks are.  They swim so gracefully through the water, I mean all fish are graceful when they swim, I get that, but seeing them together playing and hanging out just made me think.  I wish I was a shark.  What?  That’s absurd.  But then again…

I mean what makes a shark who they are? So I created a short list of things we can all do to live like sharks, hunting has been left off.

  1. Defend yourself. Take no prisoners.
  2. Go out and take what you want.  Make it happen.
  3. Be wild and free.

What is holding you back from being happy?  What is holding you back from being your best?

No one is perfect.  We are all a work in progress.  But I think a little positive role modeling can be powerful stuff.  So I will be a role model, because we all are, its time, lets step up to the plate.

Like I said in a previous blog post. There is no joy in waiting to be happy.

Sometimes I get mired down in the what could have been.  Not that I don’t love my life but you know clearly I could have been a writer, a professional ultra runner, a baker, a blah-blah-blah.  But my life is bigger then any of those because it’s little pieces of all of them.  I want to celebrate that I am all of those plus a mom, wife, teacher, friend, feminist, and a bunch of other things too.

I am going to do a better job defending myself from myself.  Doubt beware you are not welcome here. I am going to go after what is important to me, because I have nothing to lose, only gain, and to much pride is a dangerous thing.  I am going to be fun and funny, run dirty and smelly, and put my phone down and go on more impromptu bike rides to snow cone huts with my kids.  I’m going to live like its shark week or at least it’s my shark week, and month, and life.

I’m going to kill it.